Two new Blogs!

I've started two new blogs.... please check em out if you get a chance!

Thanks!!!

THE UPDATE: Not Just For Weekends Anymore

&

A New Year of My Pursuit

Last night at Genie rehearsal, we had our first FULL SCRIPT read through. I was pretty excited about it. This was the first time I would be able to actually "see/hear" the work. If it made sense. If it was funny. Imagining how it will be staged.

I have to say it went pretty well and was pretty rad to see/hear it all at once. It’s fun to see everyone becoming their characters and to watch the show start to come together. All we have left to write is the music and that is it. Actually, the music is a big thing. It's what…uh…makes it a musical. So, over the next couple of weeks I plan to write some of the lyrics and hopefully at the next rehearsal we can work on them together too.

I've never written music before...like that other people have had to listen to.........okay, I used to write my own lyrics to "Ice Ice Baby" and sing/rap them in the lunch room. True story. Green Trails Elementary School. 1990.

Sunday Walks

I walk my cousin's dog in return for food, free rent, a bed, heat, a 61" TV...and pretty much my own living quarters in the basement. It's pretty wicked.

As much as I'd rather be sleeping or just watching said 61" TV, I find walking Hammy kind of therapeutic. Having this alone time is great. Just me. Walking. It's pretty nice. I have never been one to want or need alone time in the past. In fact, I never really understood why people needed or wanted it. I get it now. Like I said, it's therapeutic.

Genie rehearsal is tonight. I like Genie rehearsal. I also like that I still call it "Genie rehearsal" even though the name of the show is called "Rubbed: The Musical."

Choi's 2nd Annual Turkey Day Celebration.

I rocked out on Rock Band. It's true. I have a voice like an angel. Just ask anyone. Seriously, go call, email or text someone right now. Ask them if I have a voice like an angel. I'll wait...
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What?! No fucking way. They're lying to you. I swear. I'm a good singer! Try someone else. Call them right now!! DO IT!!...
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WTF?! Screw that, man. Ya'll just jealous of my talent! You'll see. Biggest mistake of yo' life!

My last pH show of 2008 is tonight. Actually, it’s my last show for the year. Wow.

I am definitely not improvising as much as I'd like to be. I'm a little bit bummed about this. Now that I’m finished with training, I don't even have classes to look forward to. My independent teams are pretty much no more and I am not "in" the Annoyance family which means I don't play there. Hmmm. This does sort of suck. So many times this year I was improvising and/or rehearsing as little as three times a week and as much as five or six. Now, nothing...for the rest of the year.

Okay. I guess that's not totally true. I will have Rubbed rehearsals, which is exciting. This show is really going to be great. I'm already so proud of it.

And actually on the positive side of not playing as much, I have been writing a ton! Working on spec scripts, Rubbed, digital shorts, the pilot, and trying to keep up with this blog. Those writing projects alone have been consuming most of my days and nights. So in actuality, my creative outlet is still alive and well.

I have to admit it though, I do miss playing. I miss improv. I miss my friends.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

A Colbert Christmas: John Legend

Ron Paul Interview
Bob Barr Interview

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

I don't know if people use google reader, but if you don't, you definitely should! Anyway, this video came up on my "FUN" tab.

John Legend performed in Chicago tonight. A concert I would have loved to see. Unfortunately, I didn't get to. 1. Because I didn't know about it till two days before. 2. Because '08 has been rough on Howie financially.

However, when I saw this video on my reader it was a nice little consolation.
Enjoy!

Tonight was get famous Tuesday at iO. SNL producers were in the audience and Charna had showcases to show off the best that iO has to offer. The house was packed all night. I was told there was even a show at noon today.

Tonight, I pulled the lights for the Reckoning which was the last show of the evening. There was a crazy feeling in the air. It was electric in the Del Close Theater, thats for sure. Everyone knew (or expected) that the performers would be on their "A" games. That this show was the one to watch, because this was the show that lifted "Joe Shmo" to SNL and beyond.

Well, I don't know if that is going to happen or not, but the show was great and got huge laughs. It was fun to be part of it in some way.

I went on a job interview today that lasted about 8 minutes and when I walked in, the office was playing techno music. I was scared, intrigued, and wanted to do ecstasy and dance with glow sticks the entire time.

I do not think I will be taking this job...

Unemployment - Round 2. Day 2

I had a turkey sandwich for lunch. I took my time to eat. It feels good to not have to cram my food down my throat and worry about walking in the office three minutes late.

I read a bunch of articles. I will get a chance to write without having to hide it. Besides worrying about money, life is pretty good today.

I do need a job though...badly. Preferably, one that will pay me more than $10 an hour, but I guess something is better than nothing. Money is tight. So if you know of anything at all...please let me know!

Racism and Improv.

Racism is not okay. Bottom line. No questions asked. I don't think I need to explain why it's not cool, I assume anyone reading this is smart enough to figure that out. Now, with that said, surprisingly there is a place for racism in improv. Improv is an art form. We are actors who are hopefully painting a picture of a world we can bring our audience into each time we play. A world made of up different characters in different situations, but real situations and real characters. ENTER RACISM.

I was in a late night show the other night and it's more prone to being blue and "going there." That is just what the show is all about. Well, in this show some of the newer players were doing "bits" and not scenes. Those "bits" had some terribly racist comments in them that made me feel very uncomfortable and got me pretty worked up. I consider myself to be a strong player who can play through something like that or turn that "racist comment" a fellow player may have made into something that will make him/her look good...and NOT racist. Last night I feel like I failed. I got so upset and frustrated, I had to leave the show. There were NO scenes going on. Nothing in context and to me, the comments that were being made just seemed like the "comedian" making a racist joke or doing shock comedy. One of the players was a black guy. A friend of mine and during the show it made my stomach turn and I think I started to rage a little. There was nothing okay about what was going on. I felt like my friend was being attacked and I didn't think he or the audience for that matter, deserved to be subject to that type of "theatre." If it could even be considered theatre. When you call another player on stage "token black guy", WHO IS BLACK, that is NOT improvising. That is just calling out what you see. When you improvise you should immediately be able to see, touch, feel and smell your imaginary world. It's called playing, and at the very least, it should help you with your scene if you are ever stuck. You can go to the world you created in your mind (which should be real now) and touch it and share it with your scene partner. I tried on a few occasions to rectify what was going on, but I kept getting shut down or steamrolled by fellow players. In the end, I am disappointed in myself that I was not strong enough at that moment to play through it, but I guess on some nights we each have our limits and can only take so much. Last night was one of those nights.

Racism, stereotyping, sexism, weightism (is that a word?) are all okay to perform on stage. Seriously. However, if you are going to do that on stage, it has to be character driven, with a point of view, and in the context of a scene. Many times during an improv show, we will get some pretty blue suggestions like:
1. Dildo
2. Gangbang
3. Nigger
4. Faggot
Some pretty ignorant suggestions that are unbelievably stupid (in my opinion). Now, usually what the audience is expecting to see is a bunch of scenes where we just say, "Hey nigger...get back to work." Or, "You fags want some cocks in your mouth?" Honestly, that's what most people who suggest those words are hoping they will see. Well, it's our job as improvisers to be smarter than that. To show them "Nigger", but in a way they never thought they would see. Usually, what ends up happening, is we do a smart round of scenes and make fun of the incredibly ignorant people that actually think this way. This is our chance to show the entire world (the audience) how truly stupid racist people are.
So, we do end up saying, gook, kike, and faggot, but all in the context of scenes through characters who have a point of view. So an example of an edgy scene WITH context that would be okay if the suggestion was "Faggot" would be something like this:

A gay couple are holding hands about to order a meal at Taco Bell. A redneck sits behind them waiting.
Gay Guy 1 - Honey, I love you so much.
Gay Guy 2 - Yeah, well I love you too, Steven. More than the entire earth!
Gay Guy 1 - Are you my little putty cat?
Redneck guy - (not so under his breath) Aww, Jesus H. Christ. Are you kidding me?
Gay Guy 2 - Not in Taco Bell, Toddypoo. You're naughty...and nasty!
Gay Guy 1 - Hey, I just love being with you. You light up my life. (He touches his nipple) Hey, is that nasty enough for you?!
Redneck - Are you faggots fucking kidding me?
Gay Guy 2 - Excuse me. Is there a problem?
(getting a little bit louder now)
Redneck guy - Yeah, the problem is you two. You don't see me out here jerking off my dog, do you?
Gay Guy 1 - That's disgusting sir. I'm sorry you're not comfortable enough with your own sexuality that you feel threatened by me and (to Gay Guy 2) my little putty cat! Meoowww!
(Gay Guy 1 makes a kissing noise and starts sucking Gay Guy 2's finger)
Gay Guy 2 - ohhh...stop it u! You get me so excited!
Redneck - you fags should all be put on an island...that's what should happen with you.
ENTER GAY POLICE OFFICER
(takes off his hat)
Police officer - Is there a problem here sirs?
Redneck - Yes. (he points at the couple) Gays. That's what. We should do with them what we did to the Jews. Gas em. And put em in a hole.
Police officer - Oh really...well maybe you just haven't had the right experience with gays.
Redneck - The right experience?
Police officer - (winks at the gay guys) Hit it boys.
(Gay Guy 1 and Gay Guy 2 start singing "One More Time" by Daft Punk. The Police officer starts dancing erotically. The gay guys join in. Then the Redneck commits suicide by shooting himself in the face with his shotgun.)

Okay, so that wasn't the most realistic improv scene ever, BUT for this purpose, in the context of what was going on, it was perfectly okay to say "queer," "faggot," or "Jew". You could replace the words in that scene with any...Niggers, Kike's, Gooks....and I think it would have been okay because there were grounded characters and actual points of view.

Keep the integrity. Have a point of view and it's not racism. If you just go out there and think you're entitled to say whatever you want because you're out there...then it is racist...and you just suck.

There are times when life throws all of its stresses at you at once and you don't know what to do. You try to keep your cup half full, but it empties at a rapid rate. You're down on your luck. Bills are piling up faster than an erection from Pamela Anderson's intro on Baywatch. Shit's gettin' tough. Life's tough. You're not getting cast. You had a bad show. Your girlfriend just hit you in the face. Whatever it is, I think it's important to remember the basics. Remember to breathe. Simplify things. Regroup. Watch some fish for an hour and collect your thoughts.

Life is never as great as it seems, but it's never as bad as it seems either.

-
Howie Kremer

The Real Rubys.

My pilot, Brotherdum, is about two brothers who are from Sullivan, MO and move to Chicago to help expand their father's tile company (Ruby Tile).

It's loosely based of two brothers from Sullivan, MO - who happen to be two of my closest friends. Non - improvisors (an attorney and a trader) but HUGE supporters of me and my work. They even let me borrow their place (in Chicago) to use as a location for the shoot. It was nice to be able to take them to the Blackhawks vs. Blues game tonight.

Also, I got fired yesterday from my job. It totally sucks, but at the same time it is totally okay. I think it's kind of a blessing in disguise. That place was miserable. The job was miserable. It was pretty much a chop shop (JT Marlin from the movie Boiler Room) and kind of a joke. I've never been so micromanaged in my entire life. It was brutal. I'm free now. Free from calling unsuspecting hospital administrators and acting like I was "pointed in their direction," then proceeding to sell them a conference I know nothing about and is entirely overpriced. I no longer have to utter the words, "This is Howie calling from the National Association of Medical Advancement." - Jeez it made me vomit a little every time. Especially, after I would say the phrase and people would know it's a sales call and be like, "Who?"

Like I said, "brutal." I had to make at least 100 of those calls a day...but no more. Thank you, NAMA.

At least I got an incredible amount of writing done during the day. THANK YOU GOOGLE DOCUMENTS!!!

Does anyone know the improviser Joe Burton? I don't really know him, but I know who he is. I was eating at Panes tonight and saw this painting on the wall. I think the guy in this painting looks eerily like Joe Burton.

The whole time I was eating my sandwich it looked like Joe was watching me thinking, "Hey Howie, this is pretty good stuff, right?"

It was pretty weird. Go to Panes. Eat with Joe. See for yourself!

This is not a picture of a guitar. This is a picture from the light booth at Stage Left. I was doing lights for the pH sketch show, Sick/Personal Day.

Tracy, however, was taking guitar lessons. I want to take guitar lessons. I really want to learn guitar. It was a goal of mine this year and I had Charley try to teach me once, but was never able to keep up lessons on a regular schedule with him. I will try and make Tracy teach me everything she learns.

Knowing an instrument like guitar or piano seems almost necessary nowadays in the comedy world. I feel like it has always been an added bonus if you were able to play one. There are more bits you can do and it seems like fun. I've always wanted to do those Adam Sandler song bits, like Lunch Lady Land, Hanukkah Song, Thanksgiving Day Song, etc. Those always seemed ridiculous, funny, and fun to perform.

I wanna melt peoples faces off like Robert Page and make people laugh like Adam Sandler all at the same time.

This is Art.

Musical improv is one of my favorites to watch and do (even though I am not that great of a singer). As I've said before, it's all about selling it and having fun.

I know it can be very scary to attempt, but once you say, "F it" and just sing, musical improv magic can happen. Even if you "mess" up, the audience still loves it, because you tried and they were with you watching you attempt something and at the very least sell what you were doing. And that is pretty great.

I haven't played in pH's "pHamily the Musical" yet, but am excited to. Check it out here (By the way, the show's on Saturday's at 11pm, not Fridays!)

SMURFS!!!

Impress These Apes Season 3 Finale was tonight at the Lakeshore Theater. A friend of mine, Peter Kremidas, asked me, Neal, and some other friends to assist him in his finale. He asked us to dress up as some of our childhood characters, dance around and sing background, while Peter played the song "You Give a Little Love" by Paul Williams on the keyboards. Neal and I were Smurfs (I think I made a pretty good Papa Smurf) and we pranced around in a gay, "I'm gonna molest your child" sort of way. It was pretty adorable. My mother would be so proud!

Unfortunately, Peter did not win first place, but came in a respectable second place to Seth Dodson. Although it was a silly bit part, it was nice to be asked to participate. Performing in any way is usually fun, especially when it's with friends and you can be a Smurf. I'd say anytime you can be a Smurf, it's probably a good thing.

Rubin's Jerk Smirk - about an 8.6.

One of my oldest friends, Josh Rubin, is officially married.

The wedding was great:

1. The sliders at the end of the night were fantastic.
2. I discovered some new sketch/character ideas (I need to write them down).
3. I ate/drank from a chocolate fondue fountain.
4. I danced with (behind) the keyboard player for about 20 minutes.
5. I promised one of my friend's girlfriends that I would paint her...because apparently I am a really really good painter. Specifically, pastels.

Josh Rubin and Leora Green's Rehearsal Dinner.

Tracy wasn't invited to the wedding and that bummed me out, so all night I pretended she was there. Seriously. I walked around all night with my arm out and after a few cocktails I think I was caught making out with my pretend Tracy...

...The imagination is a horrible thing to waste.

Yet, another wedding this weekend. I think that makes about six or seven in '08. Suddenly, all of my friends are getting married. It's crazy. This one is in Dearborn, Michigan. I'm sure it will be fun, but I think I'd rather be improvising and/or writing this weekend. Too much time away from performing and writing sometimes makes me a lil stir crazy. I get the itch, which is a good thing...I think.

Regardless, I am excited to stay at home tonight and watch a movie with Tracy. Our lives are pretty hectic and we don't get to spend as much time together (not rehearsing, writing, or with other people) as we'd like. Tonight will be a good chance to relax and hang out...just us. She's a great girlfriend and I'm a very lucky guy!

30 Rock(s Hard).

30 Rock is getting some big names to appear on the show now that it's no longer considered an "insider's" show. Oprah was the guest star tonight and she was pretty funny. This show is incredibly written. Watching it is like watching a really well performed Harold - with fun and ease. I believe this show really pushes itself each week in such a smart way. They are able to capture the "funny" of the show/plot/premise, while at the same time able to send a "real" message (I'm assuming mostly Tina's voice/message). This show successfully pulls us into Tracy Jordan's absurd world of Star Wars Ninjas and Werewolf Bar-Mitzvahs, while able to remind the world that Women, Black Men, and especially, Black Women are still discriminated against in today's society. By the way, Tracy Morgan in "white woman face" was hilarious!

If you don't watch this show, go to www.hulu.com or www.nbc.com and watch it. All of the seasons. It's great and it's a wonderful 22 minute escape each week.

Tina Fey is one of my heroes. She is one of the reasons I am improvising (even though I've never had the pleasure of watching her improvise) and writing. Also, I openly have the movie Mean Girls as one of my top three!!

I still can't believe it happened. I am so happy right now. I haven't written a word in like 48 hours, but I am okay with that.

Yes! History.

Tonight was amazing (I usually hate it when people use that word {because they do, wayyyy too often so it's losing its meaning} to describe something that was not truly amazing. People - are we too stupid to expand our vocabularies and use other wonderful adjectives?? Everything is just not that AMAZING! The turkey sandwich you just ate was NOT amazing. It might have been good or even super tasty, but NOT amazing! The fact that it was 60 degrees out tonight is pretty sweet, but NOT amazing!). Tonight was simply A. Maz. Ing! I have been to a world series celebration. I have been in the streets during a Superbowl celebration and those things have been nuts. However, tonight was what I imagine it would be like if the Cubs beat the White Sox in the World Series and then played the Bears in the Superbowl with Michael Jordan as their quarterback and won. It was amazing. I am so happy and overflowing with joy. I am very proud to be an American tonight. I am proud I drove from Chicago to St. Louis today JUST SO I COULD VOTE (Missouri messed up sending me my absentee ballot and I just found out Friday). It was worth it.

Today was a good day.
Tupac would be proud.

Don't be an asshole. Vote. If you don't...Shut up!

I've been up since about 9:30pm last night writing:
Brotherdum, Rubbed: The Musical, and working on a Sunny spec. I'm making some real progress on Brotherdum and the Sunny spec. Tonight will be totally worth the lack of sleep. I imagine I'll be up for another hour. Three hours of sleep tonight! Yeah!
DO IT!

Genie Rehearsal.

I LOVE rehearsal for this musical. As the writer for the show, it is my job to suggest to the other actors/improvisers what I think might be good ideas for the characters I've created. I am never too detailed or specific as the beauty of this entire process and most of the fun, is seeing them put their own twist on their characters and come up with creative, intricate, and interesting ideas. Something I think is much radder than any character created in my own warped mind.

Tonight, Tracy played the Genie's Wife who cried over almost anything. I don't want to give too much of it away...but it was pretty freaking funny.

pHrenzy pHucked. Left to right: Drew, Micah, Me.

Micah came back! Micah came back!

I was super happy I got to play with Micah. I was green, I was playing and I was having fun. It wasn't my best show, but it also wasn't my worst show. Who cares.

The best part of the night was after the shows, hanging out at Pick Me Up Cafe with Micah, Jason, Tristan, Ben, Tom and Tracy. We were just shootin' the shit, talking about root beer floats, bendy straws, and life on the boat.

We miss you Micah!

Halloween 2008.

For at least the past five years, I have gone home to see Mark Goldenberg (Golde) and his family on Halloween. He was my former high school teacher and football coach and I am very close to Golde and his family. He has three wonderful kids, Fallon 15.5, Jordan 12 (turns 13 tomorrow), and Mitchy who is 9.

Every year I dress up (no matter what day of the week it lands on) and go trick or treating with the kids. After we've hit the neighborhood (at least twice), we come back to their house to trade candy until everyone is satisfied with what's in their bag/pile. It's become a tradition and I am super sad I have to miss it this year. Due to my recent job situation - one that watches you like a hawk and counts the minutes (to the second) that I'm here - I will not able to sneak out early today to make it back to St. Louis in time. :(

Golde has been like a father to me since my Sophomore or Junior year in high school. I've become a part of his family and they have become a part of mine. Not having a solid father figure in my life, one might think was/is pretty tough, but I got lucky to be able to surround myself with people like The Golde Family. He's better than anything I could have ever received by matter of genes.

Even when times are tough, I can look at the big picture and know how lucky I am.

Bottom Left on Bumper. This was accidentally taken as a video instead of a picture.

If you look closely, you can see a wizard holding a wand. It says - Voldemort votes Republican.
I thought that was pretty funny.
Actually, I wonder how Voldemort would vote. I feel like he might support Obama, as he would see the Republican party as too much of an evil threat to him and all of his wicked evilness.

I love the Harry Potter series. I highly recommend it to anyone who:
A. Likes reading or wants to get back into reading.
B. Has any amount of an imagination.
C. Secretly wants to be the raddest wizard ever.
These books are great!

I did the mouth!

I love carving pumpkins. I now (thanks to Tracy) love cooking and eating the seeds as well. As I've mentioned before, I also love getting free candy. I can't wait for all of the candy!!

I've been working on my Sunny spec script a bunch this week. I started the first act and am hoping to have it finished by the end of the week...

Actually, maybe not. As I am writing this post - I just realized I have a lot on my plate this week (end). I've got Brotherdum V.O. to finish up, Rubbed: The Musical to write, and my Sunny Spec to name just a few. Not to mention putting together my costume and of course Halloween, shows, and rehearsal. I also need to try and find time to catch some zzzzzs. Oy.

Okay. I'm cool. Deep breath (takes breath)...

Chciago Bulls Home Opener - Halftime.

I was very excited to go to the Bulls home opener tonight, however, the best part wasn't that #1 overall draft pick of the Bulls and NBA - Derrick Rose - had a great showing and led the Bull's to victory. It was that at halftime two guys from Cirque du Soleil performed. It was an unbelievablely rad-ass performance. I've seen Cirque du Soleil once before in London, but tonight's seemed better. Maybe it was because it was only two guys and at one point they performed the feat pictured above. If you can't tell by the picture, they are balancing each other only by their shoulders. It. Was. Crazy.

The performance reminded me that there are so many people out there pursuing their dreams. Playing half-time shows around the world. Getting stage legs and doing what they love. It was just another little reminder that I'm doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing and to enjoy every minute of it.

PEZ.

Halloween is afoot and it's my favorite time, holiday, event or day of the entire year.

1. Free Candy
2. Rad costumes
3. Fun Parties

I am going as the Jolly Green Jewish Giant. If you can't picture it, think this guy -


meets this guy:


+ some gaudy gold chains = Pure Halloween Radness.

Jolly Green Jewish Giant...oxymoron...yes. Will I get mistaken for some sort of Jewish Elf...probably. Will I have a blast...you betcha.

Genie Rehearsal. (From Left to right) Rasheeda, Tristan, Tracy

Three of the funniest girls I know. Watching them figure out the beats to the fist scene in Act 2 of Rubbed: The Musical was a complete joy. It was amazing. Each lady knew their role in the scene and had a great sense of their "give and take." The characters were solid and really funny.
1. Rasheeda's corky, strong subservient
2. Tracy's quiet, more reserved and always agreeable (to Tristan's character) subservient.
3. Tristan as the Queen Genie.

I laughed and laughed...and laughed and laughed...

This is going to be a good show.